Chapter 34: If I'm a cunt to ya, know I love ya.
Tough love never hurts. If anything, it makes you grow.
I missed a call from a friend on Saturday night; I was having dinner.
I spent three hours of my life with him on Friday night, often insulting his intelligence, losing patience with him, and chastising him for being unable to see solutions when they’re under his nose.
I’m much like my dad, come to think of it.
No wonder he barely has friends.
I don’t, either.
Sigh. Yet another night of crying myself to sleep.
I digress; my friend is solo-tripping through Germany for the first time, and he’s been consulting me aggressively for advice.
He’s old-fashioned in that he prefers phone calls to texts - which is great - I like phone calls too.
But like a golden retriever in heat, he’s a bit too…enthusiastic.
He’s called me once every day for the past 5 days.
Now, I’m quite generous with my time - I’m learning not to be - because I’m gradually designing a life I love.
And when I offer advice, it comes from lived experience.
So when I find myself having to repeat it multiple times - to penetrate my friend’s thick skull - I'd rather drag my fingernails on a blackboard and give myself a manicure.
All that said, I was dreading calling him back…but he answered just as I was about to disconnect:
This irritating friend merely wanted to thank me for encouraging him to book his ticket to Berlin (he had initially only planned to go to Düsseldorf).
He also appreciated me inspiring him to be more confident in other areas of his life - I was a bit of a cunt that night - but in the best possible way.
I’m like that; I push people.
Only because, as trite as it is, life begins at the end of one’s comfort zone.
Comfort doesn’t build character. Pressure does.
Fuck, I sound like one of those unhinged corporate types on a post straight from r/LinkedInLunatics.
Jokes aside, if only for a few seconds…it felt good knowing someone chose to better themselves because of me, and reminded me there's merit in being myself.
Like Oscar Wilde’s aphorism goes:
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
Since we must die.
Memento amare/remember to love.
— Karan
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